Survival, Pain, and Hope: A Trans Woman’s True Story

Our subscriber has shared her life story - a difficult yet crucial journey.
Everything is kept anonymous at the author's request.

I was born in São Paulo, a city where life was never easy. Slums, hunger, crime—but the worst part was feeling like a stranger in my own body. From childhood, I knew the world expected me to be a boy: strong, emotionless, aggressive. But year after year, I realized it wasn’t just about liking boys - I wanted to be a girl. By the time I turned 16, the thought consumed me. I couldn’t tell my family because I knew they wouldn’t understand. At school, kids like me were mocked; on the streets, they were beaten. I tried to suppress my feelings, but at night, when I was alone, I would put on my mother’s dresses, look at my reflection, and cry. I couldn’t accept that I was living someone else’s life. Then, one day, my brother found my diary. He tore the pages apart, screaming that I was sick, that if our father found out, he would kill me. That night, I overheard my parents discussing how to "fix" me, how this was just a phase that could be "treated." Panic set in. I knew if I stayed, they would break me. I packed whatever I could carry and left. I slept at the train station, ate leftovers. In a city where no one cared about anyone else’s suffering, I was completely alone.
Until I met Karina - a trans woman who knew what it meant to fight for survival. She brought me to a house where others like us lived. It wasn’t luxury, but it was safe. Working as a waitress was hell. My coworkers whispered behind my back, customers made disgusting comments, and my boss didn’t want "problems." I couldn’t find a real job - no one wanted to hire a "freak." Then someone suggested modeling. It sounded glamorous. But modeling was a trap. Slowly, the lines blurred. The photos became more explicit, and the money - desperately needed. I resisted. I tried to leave. But I had no way out. They convinced me that this was the only way to survive. The shoots became more brutal.